11 October Puns

[Tim Bruening]

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting Scurvy! -
and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is an
insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.

Strip Mall: Store for nudists.

Staffer: Hairy stick.

Stammer: Ocean that stutters.

Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

[nemo]

Post by Tim Bruening

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting Scurvy! -
and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is an
insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.
Strip Mall: Store for nudists.
Staffer: Hairy stick.
Stammer: Ocean that stutters.
Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

Ferocious: Steel hair on a lion!

*.RARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! : A compressed lion!

[Tim Bruening]

Post by Tim Bruening

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting

Scurvy! -

Post by Tim Bruening

and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is

an

Post by Tim Bruening

insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.
Strip Mall: Store for nudists.
Staffer: Hairy stick.
Stammer: Ocean that stutters.
Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

Ferocious: Steel hair on a lion!
*.RARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! : A compressed lion!

Bullion: Male bovine feline.

[TSB]

Aptly: Skilled Korean.

Benignly: Kind Korean bee #9.

Boiling: Baby boil.

Bolting: Musical bolt.

Glossy: Shiny ocean.

[Tim Bruening]

Swapping: Bell used to signal trades.
Hating: Bell that dislikes.
Halting: Bell used to signal a stop.
Printing: Musical letters.

As sung by Harry BellaFONTe?

Perhaps

. . the price of several chances?

Blue Prince: A royal blue man who makes building schematics with his
hands and feet.
Finger Prince: A very small prince whose talent is to scan fingers.

Digitroyal technology?

Foot Prince: 12 inch tall Prince whose talent is to scan feet.

[Tim Bruening]

Circle: Round knight.

Circuit: Electric knight.

Circulation: Library knight.

Circulatory: Bloody Conservative British knight.

Circumvent: Knight skill at evading regulations.

Circus: Swearing knight.

[Tim Bruening]

Post by Tim Bruening

Swapping: Bell used to signal trades.
Hating: Bell that dislikes.
Halting: Bell used to signal a stop.
Printing: Musical letters.

As sung by Harry BellaFONTe?

Perhaps

. . the price of several chances?

Blue Prince: A royal blue man who makes building schematics with his
hands and feet.
Finger Prince: A very small prince whose talent is to scan fingers.

Digitroyal technology?

Foot Prince: 12 inch tall Prince whose talent is to scan feet.

Palm Prince: The king of TOMORrow!

Palm Pilot: Flying tree.

[Tim Bruening]

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Biplane: An aircraft that mates with both genders.

Deacon: A criminal demon.

D. Mon: Between D. Sun and D. Tues.

D. Tain: A demon prison guard.

Enormous: A very big rodent.

Giant: Very big ant.

Gigantic: Very big tick.

Incredible: An unbelievable male cow.

[Tim Bruening]

Embarrassing: Red faced singer.
Embossing: Song of a potter.
Embracing: Hugging song.
Expressing: Song of a failed newspaper.
Flossing: Dentist song.
Grossings: 144 songs.
Harassing: Song that bugs people.
Harnessing: Song of draft animals.
Hissing: Snake song.
History: Conservative British snake

. . . or goose.
His/Herstory: Politically correct record of past events.

Exploratory: British Conservative in space.

Mandatory: John Profumo visiting Miss Rice-Davis.

Man D.: Male demon.

[Tim Bruening]

Praps you should use a longwire, then you could receive
telegrams of many pages.

My gram doesn't telegraph herself anymore. She says it really
hertz!

Eddie's son still does.
And would a Stock Broker's kids go out on Halloween

Tick-or-Taping?

They might go as a Hawaiian facial feature, but then Hoo nose.

Nemo
Numbo One Punster!

Also Number Pun Onester!

And also Pumber Nun Onester - not that I've ever tried to pum a

nun -

not

even once. I'd probably get the Mother Soupy Rear after me!

Hehe! That's using the ol' noodles. Maybe she was a loose can nun.

(I started using that sig beak horse of Cybe Barmey Wizard and

Jammy

Mac

et

al, calling me Numbo. I notice they haven't done it since.)

I don't cotton to people who call other people names. Let them
find someone else to stick their fabric to.

The trouble with those two's material is they can't tell talk from
schmutter!!
(Old UK margarine ad slowgoon.)

Old UK? Well then, off with their heads! That's the "necks us" of
the solution!
Bee sides, you've got to remain competitive, using business
Prince Ipples and leadership "Ack, you men!" How about some
low-fat puns using the sig "I Can't Believe it's Not Nemo!"

Can't tell Stork from butter was the pre cur sir to that one.
Low-fat puns? OK.
Fat woman goes to the doctor complaining that her husband has lost all
interest in her sexually.
The doc tells her to strip off, looks her up and down and says, "Lady,

you

gotta diet!"
She looks down at her wedding tackle and says, "OK, doc. What colour?"

U Knight: Comes after T Knight and before V Knight.

What about Mid knight eh? What about Mid knight?

Right in the middle or on a Navy ship.

[Tim Bruening]

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting Scurvy! -
and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is an
insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.

Strip Mall: Store for nudists.

Staffer: Hairy stick.

Stammer: Ocean that stutters.

Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

[TSB]

Aptly: Skilled Korean.

Benignly: Kind Korean bee #9.

Boiling: Baby boil.

Bolting: Musical bolt.

Glossy: Shiny ocean.

[TSB]

Biking: The king is gay!

Biking: Farewell to a king.

Biking: Lance Armstrong.

Bison: My son is gay!

[TSB]

Facing: Singing head.

Poland: Nation of opinion polls.

Poland: Nation of German asses.

Poland: Country in the Arctic.

Lacy: Ocean of revealing night clothing.

[Tim Bruening]

Aptly: Skilled Korean.

Benignly: Kind Korean bee #9.

Boiling: Baby boil.

Bolting: Musical bolt.

Glossy: Shiny ocean.

[Tim Bruening]

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting Scurvy! -
and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is an
insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.

Strip Mall: Store for nudists.

Staffer: Hairy stick.

Stammer: Ocean that stutters.

Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

[Nemo]

Post by Tim Bruening

. . . a load of old tosh!

B-12: Vitamin for apines.

Vegan apines!

E: Vitamin for computers.

Vitamin C: For sailors.
True. That's why our guys used to eat limes to stop 'em getting Scurvy! -
and idiot 'Merkins whose ancestors used to suffer from it think Limey is an
insult!
Riboflavin: Makes archers' bent weapons taste better.

Microbes: Very small clothing for sleeping and lazing around.
Strip Mall: Store for nudists.
Staffer: Hairy stick.
Stammer: Ocean that stutters.
Stiffer: Hair that doesn't bend.

It's died and got Rigor Moretits?